I hate how much growing up with a parent with anger problems still affects me.
My flatmate is angry with me for some reason, keeps slamming doors and cupboards and pots, called me names. I don’t know why, but he has a lot of issues and gets angry at tiny things nobody else cares about if he’s had a bad day. I know the proper response is to just ignore it, it’s not really my problem, it’s not about me, it’ll blow over. But because of my upbringing, my actual response is to hide in my room hyperventilating and check the library opening hours, anything, I need to escape.
It affects me in other ways, too. I always annoy my friends asking if they’re angry with me when they’re quiet. Because that was the only warning my mum ever gave me before exploding with rage: she’d go quiet.
Test yourself on which colors you can discriminate better than overs. 0 is a perfect score. I got a 44. Blue/green seemed to be my trouble spot.
73 oh my GOD
my eyes are fuzzy now
this is what I got:
pretty good, right? ^^
I kept on changing with my eyes narrowed
It really took me some time
26. Not horrible, but not great either.
“You have perfect color vision!”
I’m a wizard.
I never know whether to tell people/post about them or not, since apparently telling someone you dreamt about them is “creepy”, and a lot of people find dreams boring. Some of them are so strange and hilarious, though.
Also, people keep telling me it’s weird that I dream about Tumblr people…? But why? I spend a lot of time on here. Of course it’s going to filter through into my dreams.
Yes, I’m still laughing at this. Don’t worry, I’ll tire of it soon.
I also tried putting in Zachary Quinto’s twitter but they were largely indistinguishable from his actual tweets. One was literally just “boom. boom. boom. boom. boom. boom. boom. boom.”
I don’t really even use Twitter any more, but this is making me cry with laughter:
I’ve been thinking a lot about communication and empathy lately. I keep running across this idea that people who are non-neurotypical are bad at empathizing. I kind of want to tear that idea apart, sooooo.
Here’s the thing. Whenever I hear that people who are ASD/otherwise non-neurotypical are bad at empathizing, what people inevitably mean is that we’re bad at communicating in a neurotypical way. After all, if you can’t accurately read someone’s facial expression or body language to determine how they’re feeling, how can you possibly empathize with them, their emotions, or their experiences? Right???
Nnnnooo. If someone has trouble accurately reading body language or facial expressions to determine mood, all that means is that THAT PERSON HAS TROUBLE ACCURATELY READING BODY LANGUAGE OR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. And while that is OFTEN a PART of what empathizing with someone looks like (especially if you are neurotypical!) that is not actually what empathy IS.
And, ironically, what I would say has a lot more to do with empathy is not the ABILITY to read people socially but the WILLINGNESS to listen to people when they are telling you about their experiences and feelings and believe them. The willingness to assume that they are the person who is most qualified to talk about their own lives. The willingness to suspend the “what would *I* do” impulse that pops up.
And many neurotypical people? Are not at all willing to do that. In all areas, but specifically relating to this, in areas of communication with NNT people. If I tell someone who is NT that I have a great deal of trouble making eye contact in social situations, that it makes me deeply uncomfortable, and causes me some amount of actual pain, the most common response I get is baffled disbelief. It doesn’t cause THEM pain or discomfort, so it could not possibly cause me the pain and discomfort I am describing. THEY don’t have any difficulty calling people on the phone, so people for whom phone conversations cause panic attacks or other discomfort are either exaggerating or simply not trying hard enough. Those are only two examples that I picked because they are the two I personally deal with most often, but the list goes on and of course it varies from person to person. But, long story short: if you don’t interact or communicate like a neurotypical person, the attitude you get back is: You’re doing it wrong. You’re being difficult. You’re deliberately exaggerating your experiences to inconvenience me personally.
And do you know what that attitude is? It sure as hell ain’t empathy.
We need to stop equating empathy with neurotypical social abilities. They’re not the same thing, and the idea that NNT people are inherently less capable of empathy (especially when empathy is commonly thought of as a trait which defines what makes us human) is harmful nonsense. It’s extremely othering, and it lets neurotypical people off the hook for not being ACTUALLY empathetic to people they interact with who don’t meet their expectations of what a social interaction should look like.
Yes absolutely all of this.
Eye contact makes my head ache. I simulate eye contact by looking in the general direction of people’s faces. Sometimes I am a bit curious about people’s eyes so I snatch glimpses when their line of sight is directed elsewhere. But if we actually lock eyes, it’s like I’m being burned.